Dating Tips

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Welcome to Online Dating Safety Tips!

Here you will find many comprehensive guides to safe online dating that will assist you in meeting that special someone. You will find valuable online dating advice about making phone calls, meeting online dating partners, travelling overseas and getting married. This is indeed your one stop spot for internet dating help.

Information about scammers and spammers will protect you from the handful of people who use online dating services illegitimately and emotional safety tips will keep your heart intact.

Use our Online Dating Safety Tips to enjoy safe and successful online dating. You could meet the partner of your dreams today!

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Online dating is one of the easiest ways to meet a range of great people but of course there are dangers to consider. While millions of honest, caring and serious people use online dating services it’s the comparative handful of bad guys that get all the press. These few bad guys use the internet to scam and spam innocent victims but with a little common sense and background safety information you will have no cause for concern. Read on make the most of safe, successful online dating.

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1. Specific warnings regarding online dating

1.1 Risks

You acknowledge that there are risks involved in online dating, including without limitation, unknowingly dealing with underage persons or persons acting under a false pretense or for a criminal purpose. You agree to take all necessary precautions when communicating with or meeting with other users, especially if you decide to meet in person. In addition, you agree to review our online dating safety tips prior to using the service.

1.2 No warranty as to identity of members

You acknowledge that user authentication on the internet is extremely difficult. The Company cannot and does not warrant that each member or user of the Service is who he or she claims to be. Further, the Company cannot and does not warrant that member profiles are reliable, accurate or complete. Accordingly, you must be careful in dealing with other members or users of the Service or the Website.

2. Termination

2.1 Agreement effective for members

This Agreement will remain in full force and effect while you are a member of the Service or while you otherwise use the Website.

2.2 Termination of membership by you

You may terminate your membership at any time, for any reason, effective immediately upon our receipt of your written notice of termination. Notice of termination may be delivered to the address contained in the Contact Us section of the Website, may be emailed to the email address listed in the Contact Us section of the Website, or may be effected by clicking on the Switch Off Membership link in the members' section of the Website. You will not be entitled to a refund of your membership fees as a consequence of the termination of your membership.

2.3 Perticuler

This website automatically adds new clientes to your mailbox. You can get a new join notification by clicking the bell button. You can view the contact details of your eligible clientes through a premium membership. You can also search for your suitable clientes through the Search button. The Matching Partner menu can help you see your matching partners. Then you can do any dating.

You can also enjoy our free service, this free SMS service, to send interest. You can SMS to your appropriate clients, then do a dating.

However, the terms and conditions must be kept in mind. These terms and conditions are available in baton. We are not responsible for any damages and are not liable for any financial issues.

3. First Meetings

(a) Meet in a public place

(b) Keep friends and family informed

(d) Stay safe at all times

Meeting your online date is very exciting because you can finally see what they look like in person. Who knows, this could lead to a second date followed by a long term relationship and even relation. However, since this is the first time you are meeting them, it wouldn’t hurt to exercise a little caution.

3.1 Meet In A Public Place

This is a basic rule to keep in mind whenever you meet an online date. Refrain from inviting them to your home, or meeting them at their place. A populated public place is a good safety net just in case anything should go wrong.

3.2 Who Knows?

Tell someone about your rendezvous, whether it’s just a date at a coffee shop or an overseas meeting. Should anything go wrong, your friend or family member will know of your whereabouts.

3.3 Dress To Impress

It is likely you will dress to impress your date, after all it is the first time you are meeting them. However, it is especially important for ladies to dress appropriately. Save your cleavage revealing tops and micro minis for your third or fourth date and dress slightly more conservatively for the first date, just so you don’t create the wrong impression.

3.4 Safety First

If you have gotten to know your date well, your first meeting should go off really well and you will likely enjoy your first date. However, always keep your guard up just a little bit, at least until you have had a few more dates. Enjoy yourself but put safety first and hopefully your first date will lead to many more!

Whether you are meeting a local date, flying cross country or even heading overseas for a meeting, there are certain safety tips you must keep in mind at all times. Keep reading to find out more!

4. Safety and Success Dating Tips

(a) Meet in a public place

(b) Don't accept a lift

(d) Keep your cell on you at all times

(e) Don't get drunk

(f) Watch your drinks and belongings

(g) Watch body language and behavior

(h) Get help at any time

(i) Trust your instincts

(j) If it goes well, meet again!

So you've met someone through online dating, have been chatting for a while and now you're ready to meet them in person. First dates are always exciting but it's important to keep your personal safety in mind. No harm can come from being over-cautious; you'll both laugh about it later. If your date cares about and respects you they will respect and reciprocate your concerns. Read on for safe dating tips and dating advice for meeting offline locally.

4.1 Location!

Always meet in a populated, public place in an area that you're familiar with such as your favorite busy restaurant. A first date is not the time for a hike through the forest or any other remote rendezvous.

4.2 Pick a Great Day for It

Meet at a time and on a day that's convenient for you. Be suspicious if your date insists on meeting at odd hours unless they have a legitimate reason.

4.3 Go Your Own Way

Do not accept a lift from your date. If you can't drive to the chosen location then get a friend to drive you, take public transport or a taxi. If you can't get there by yourself don't go.

4.4 Good Gossip

Tell a friend or family member where you're going, what time you're meeting and how long you expect to be. Give the friend a copy of your date's contact details and make sure you date knows you've done this. Letting your online dating partner know that you're giving someone else their contact is common courtesy but also makes sure they know people are looking out for you.

4.5 Stay Connected

Keep your cell phone with you and switched on at all times. If you change locations, such moving to a different bar or restaurant, call or text message your friend to keep them updated. Arrange to have the friend call you at a specified time, such as one hour into the date, to check how things are going. Chances are you'll be having a great time and want to chat about their cute smile but if things aren't going well the call will give you an excuse to leave.

4.6 Dating Under the Influence

Refrain from excessive drinking or any other activity that could impair your judgment and lead to poor decision making. Sure, you're out to have a good time but if everything goes well there will be many, many more good times to come. Getting trashed is also poor dating etiquette.

4.7 Watch Your Stuff

Do not leave your personal belongings or drink unattended at any time. If you go to the bathroom take your phone, bag and/or wallet with you. Do not risk having your personal details stolen. Keep any drinks close to you at all times and if you've left it, leave it. Half a warm beer isn't worth risking your safety.

4.8 Red Flag, Green Flag

Be aware of your date's behavior and body language. Shows of anger, possessiveness, frustration or attempts to pressure or threaten you should set off alarm bells; proceed with great caution. Alternatively if they're sitting up and leaning slightly towards you, showing interest in your conversation and maintaining eye contact you've got a winner!

4.9 Get Help At Any Time

If you are made to feel uncomfortable at any time attract the attention of someone around you. Tell a waitress, a security guard, a passerby, a stranger in the bathroom - just attract the attention and support of someone around you – and leave. If your date insists on walking you to a car parked down an alley or in a deserted parking lot stop where you are, call a cab and collect your car another time. Your safety is more important that worrying about causing your date offense.

4.10 Trust Your Instincts

It may sound like a cliché but always trust your instincts. If your gut is telling you to leave, then leave. Similarly if your gut is telling you that you've met the most amazing person in the world, arrange a second date!

5. Long Distance Meeting Tips

(a) Stay at a hotel

(b) Taxi from the airport

(d) Stay in touch with home

(e) Read up on where you're going

(f) Trust your instincts

(g) Enjoy yourself!

Forget bungee jumping and sky diving, traveling long distances to meet your online dating partner is the most exciting holiday you could have! However, just like extreme sports, heading across the country or around the world to meet someone is a generally safe activity with a bad name due to a handful of unfortunate events. People jump out of planes all the time with no trouble, so long as they've checked their parachutes. Similarly you'll have a safe, successful and exhilarating time if you read our dating tips for long distance meetings.

5.1 Stay at a Hotel

Stay at a hotel when first visiting someone you've met through an online dating service, do not stay at the other person's home. If you can't afford a hotel, don't go. Safe dating is successful dating, don't rush things.

5.2 Get a Taxi From the Airport

Always take a taxi to and from the airport. Wanting to see the other person as soon as you get off the plane is natural but keep your safety in mind. Meet them at the airport by all means but do not get into a private vehicle with them or let them transport your luggage in a private vehicle.

5.3Don't Disclose Hotel Name

Keep the name and exact location of your hotel to yourself until you are completely sure of the other person's intentions. Arrange public meeting places until you're comfortable in each other's company.

5.4Stay in Touch with Home

Before departing give your friends and family a detailed itinerary and the contact details of both your hotel and the other person. Stay in constant touch with people back home through emails and phone calls. Make sure the other person is aware that friends and family know where you are, what you're doing and when you plan to return.

5.5 Be Prepared

Research where you're going and familiarize yourself with local customs, traditions and dangers. You are, of course, expecting a guided tour but collecting some useful knowledge will show not only that you're interested but that you're sensible and well prepared. Always take out comprehensive travel insurance and travel with reputable companies.

5.6 Trust Your Instincts

Long distance and overseas travel can be exciting, confronting and confounding but there's a difference between getting outside your comfort zone and being uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts and act responsibly.

6. Sexual Assault and Date Rape

Online dating often leads to offline dates, which have often ended up as successful relationships. However before you meet someone in person, take all the time you need to get well acquainted so there is hopefully nothing to worry about when you meet in person. Sexual assault on a date is definitely not an everyday occurrence but it doesn’t hurt to stay safe. Take the time to really get to know a person and such incidents are even less likely to occur.

6.1 What is Sexual Assault?

Any unwanted sexual attention or contact is usually defined as sexual assault. This includes and is not limited to inappropriate touching, sexual harassment, molestation and rape.

6.2 What is Date Rape?

Rape is the most common type of sexual assault. Date rape is when a date (or an acquaintance) forces you to have sex without consent. Sometimes this could be a stranger at a party but many times it could someone you know. Women are more likely to be victims of date rape. While women of any age can be a victim of date rape, it is found that ladies aged 15 – 24 are at a higher risk.

6.3 Date Rape Drugs

You will often hear of date rape being associated with drugs. This is because several times the victim is drugged on a date and then raped. The drugs make the victim unable to resist assault and sometimes the victim even has no memory of being assaulted. The drugs and dangerous and very powerful and are usually slipped into a drink when the victim is unaware. As they usually have no particular taste or smell, it is even harder to spot a drink that has been drugged.

The three most common date rape drugs are Rohypnol, GHB and Ketamine. Each of these drugs has several street names as well. For example Rohypnol is commonly known as R-2, Roach, Rophies; GHB is also known as Cherry Meth, Liquid Ecstasy, Easy Lay while Ketamine is sometimes known as Kit Kat, Cat Valium, K-Hole etc.

For more detailed information on date rape drugs, take a look at the Women’s Health website run by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.

6.4 Staying Safe

Sexual assault and date rape are definitely not common occurrences when meeting an online date. Read and follow the safety advice for meetings that we have outlined so you are well prepared. In addition, some of the following tips will probably be useful too.

(a) Always take the time to get well-acquainted with someone before you plan a meeting.

(b) While on the date, always be very aware of your surroundings.

(d) Getting a girl drunk is a common ploy so watch how much alcohol you drink, if at all.

(e) Be cautious during your first few meetings and stay away from dark and lonely places.

6.5 Getting Help

If you believe you may be a victim of sexual assault, the first thing you should do is contact the police immediately and report the crime, no matter how big or small. It is common for victims to blame themselves in a case of assault, however you must always remember that your attacker had absolutely no justification.

(a) If you feel you cannot handle it alone, try talking to understanding family members or friends about how you feel.

(b) If necessary, you can also speak with an experienced counselor who can help you deal with it.

(c) If you have been raped, it is also a good idea to see a doctor who can test you for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

This website that talks specifically about date rape offers some excellent tips on how to get help.

6.7 Resources

(a) US Info – The National Sexual Assault Hotline .

The Department of Justice lists several National Organizations that might be helpful.

Violence Against Women Online Resources provides a lot of material too.

– Sexual Assault information at The National Center for Victims of Crime

– National Clearinghouse on Marital and Date Rape

(b) UK Info – Victim Support is a great website for information and help.

The Australian Institute of Family Studies has several publications on the website about sexual assault. The New South Wales government has a website dedicated to Date Rape and it contains lots of valuable information.

(d) Male Victims – The About Date Rape website acknowledges that while male rape may not be as common, it does exist and has information for guys who may have been victims.

7. Overseas Travel Checklist

(a) Know about your destination

(b) Up to date safety information

(d) Visas and valid passport

(e) Know where embassies are

(f) Have travel insurance

(f) Copies all of documents

(g) Spare cash or credit card

(g) Pack well and lightly

(h) Sense of adventure!

Overseas travel will expand your horizons, introduce new adventures and be a highlight of your life experience. Travelling abroad requires a little more planning than domestic travel because you have to take various issues into consideration. Whether it’s your first time abroad or you’re a travel veteran it’s important to plan and prepare for a safe, successful overseas trip. Whether you are going to visit someone or having your partner visit you, make sure you know all the rules and legal requirements of your destination country before the trip is planned.

7.1 Where Are You Going?

Hit up your local library, reputable internet sites and travel veterans for information about where you’re heading. Arming yourself with cultural, geographical and weather information will make your trip safer and more enjoyable. Not only will you pack the right gear, see all the important sites and have a better time you’ll be better prepared for anything that comes your way. Lonely Planet is a handy site.

7.2 What’s Happening There?

While you have your head excitedly stuck in travel guides and tourist brochures your dream destination could be suffering local violence, terror attacks or natural disasters.

From time to time, certain countries become unsafe for travel whether it be for political reasons, health warning or terrorism threats. Most governments issue safety warnings to keep citizens well aware of the dangers of traveling to some high risk areas.

(a) U.S. Citizens – U.S. Department of State

(b) Indian Citizens --- Indian Department of state

(d) UK Citizens – Foreign and Commonwealth Office

(e) Australian Citizens – Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade

7.3 How Are You Getting There?

Every country has different entry requirements depending on your nation of citizenship. The one thing you’ll need for sure is a valid passport with at least 6 months before expiry. A lot of countries require a visa for entry, some of which require pre-trip preparation. Check the following sites, travel agents, your government and the embassy of your destination country to make sure you meet entry requirements.

7.4 Will They Let You In?

7.5 Do You Have A Valid Passport?

A valid passport is essential for travelling abroad because it is required to enter and leave a country. Check the rules for the country you are visiting because some countries require your passport to be valid for the duration of your visit as well as for three to six months after your entry into their country.

Take a look at the links below to find more country-specific information about passports.

(a) U.S. citizens – U.S. Department of State

– Travel Documents System

(b) Canadian citizens – Passport Canada

(d) Australian citizens – Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade

(e) New Zealand citizens – Department of Internal Affairs

7.6 Do You Have The Right Visa?

Before you head out of the country to visit your sweetheart or invite them to visit you, check to see you have all the right travel documentation. Having a passport isn’t enough because sometimes the destination country may require you to have a visa before allowing you to enter the country. You can obtain a visa from the consulate of the destination in your country and since you will be visiting, you will need a tourist visa.

7.7 For more information, take a look at some of these websites:

(a) Travilling to India -- Indian Department

(b) Travelling to USA – U.S. Department of State

(d) Travelling to Canada – Citizenship and Immigration Canada

(e) Travelling to Australia – Australian Electronic Travel Authority

(f) Travelling to Thailand – Ministry of Foreign Affairs

(g) Travelling to Japan – Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Japan

(h) Travelling to Philippines – Department of Foreign Affairs

(i) Travelling to Indonesia – Department of Indonesia

(k) Travelling to China – Ministry of Foreign Affairs

7.8 Who Knows You're Going?

Leave copies of your itinerary, passport, visas, insurance policies, plane tickets and accommodation with friends and family members. Stay in constant touch with home while you’re away through email and phone calls. Not only is this a safe and sensible move, you’ll be able to share all the cool details of your trip and have backups in case you lose any information.

You may also be able to register with your government or embassy so that your whereabouts is known in the event of a large-scale problem.

7.9 Who Knows You're Going?

You may also be able to register with your government or embassy so that your whereabouts is known in the event of a large-scale problem.

7.10 Are You Carrying Enough Money?

When travelling, carrying large amounts of cash with you is never advisable. Instead carry traveler’s checks and/or credit and debit cards. If you are carrying plastic money (cards), make sure your card can be used at ATM locations internationally. There may be a fee for this but usually cards with the MasterCard, Visa, Cirrus or Maestro logos on them are accepted worldwide.

(a) MasterCard Global ATM Locator

(b) Visa ATM Locator

7.11 What Are The Health Requirements?

Some countries pose more health risks than others and therefore the health and vaccination requirements vary in each country. Find out the relevant rules and get all the necessary vaccination before you head out for your visit. Apart from your vaccination, you might also want to get travel health insurance, just in case you fall sick while you are on holiday. Some of these websites have useful health information for travelers:

(a) Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

(b) Netdoctor travel health

7.12 What If Something Goes Wrong?

There is always the possibility of something going wrong while you’re overseas. The most important bit of advice is to keep your guard up and be well aware of things that could possibly go wrong. If you’re well prepared there is very little that could turn into a disaster. Make sure you have comprehensive travel insurance that will cover all the activities that you’re likely to do (check skiing, golf, diving, etc) as well as all your possessions. Know where your country’s embassies are in your destination country and keep important phone numbers and addresses, such as emergency services and embassies, with you at all times. Importantly, don’t freak out about the little stuff. A stolen camera or mild case of tummy sickness shouldn’t spoil your trip.

7.13 What Do You Need To Take?

Take appropriate clothing, footwear and other gear for your trip. If you’re mountain climbing leave the stilettos at home but you’ll be equally uncomfortable wearing hiking boots in a nice Parisian restaurant. Know what the weather will be like, know what you’ll be doing and pack well but lightly.

Take spare passport sized photos and keep photocopies of your documents in a separate part of your luggage to the originals. Also save scanned copies of your documents and important address and phone numbers in your email inbox so they can be accessed anytime, anywhere.

Stash an emergency credit card and some cash in US$ somewhere separate from your main money compartment. Come theft, disaster or accident if you’ve got good travel insurance, cash or plastic and an accessible copy of your documents and emergency numbers you will be fine.

8. Sex Trafficking

8.1 Sex Trafficking Checklist

(a) Promises of illegal jobs are a common ploy

(b) Sex traffickers are often willing to pay for their victim to come visit them

(d) Help is available, even for illegal immigrants

Online dating is a fun and convenient way to meet new people and fall in love and thousands of people across the world are doing just that. As part of our efforts to educate you about online dating safety we would like to discuss sex trafficking. While we have never personally heard of a sex trafficking case on any of our websites, we still think you should be aware of all the facts to stay safe online.

Keep reading to learn more about sex trafficking and how to avoid becoming a target.

8.2 What is Sex Trafficking?

Sex trafficking is a type of human trafficking. Human trafficking is the trading of men, women and children for the purpose of servitude and forced labor. It is one of the fastest growing criminal industries in the world. In sex trafficking, women (usually) are traded within and between countries for sex work. The women are usually deceived and lured into prostitution with a promise of a job or some other opportunity that sounds to good to be true.

8.3 Warning Signs

Spotting a sex trafficker while you're trying to find a special someone can be a hard ask but here are some signs to look out for:

(A) Instant Love

If he’s professing his undying love within a few days of knowing you, there’s more than one reason to think there might be something wrong here. The first step to trapping their potential victim is to get her emotionally involved. Therefore, it is always advisable to take the time to get to know other members on the site as someone you have only known for a few days is more likely to be a fraud than someone you have been chatting with for a few months.

(B) Job Promises

This is the most common bait sex traffickers use. They will usually promise you a job, tell you to come to a different country where you can work (often as a waitress), promise you big money and the like. But when you reach the other country, there’s no job waiting for you and most often these sex traffickers use the promise of a job to trick and coerce women into prostitution.

There are a number of men out there who are genuinely willing to sponsor their girlfriend to be able to visit them. While most men are legitimate, there are some who use this as a ploy and girls are often forced into prostitution and subsequently made to “pay off the debt”. Not everyone is trying to dupe you but if someone’s behavior is suspicious and they are over eager for you visit them, you should think twice. For example, if you have only been chatting with them for a few days and they are offering to pay for everything already, it could be dodgy. However, if you have known the other member for a long time and they are willing to pay for you, it is more likely to be genuine.

The best thing to do would be to ask the man to visit you instead of you visiting him, as this is infinitely safer. Only someone who is genuinely interested in you is likely to make the effort to come and meet you. Also, since you will be in familiar territory it will be harder to deceive you and since it is your home town, you can easily call for help if there is any trouble.

8.4 Trafficking Myths

As horrifying as sex trafficking is, there are some myths surrounding it too.

(A) Only in Poor Countries

That’s not true. While sex trafficking is definitely very prevalent in poorer Asian countries, it is very common in the USA, Canada and other developed nations too. One of the most common trafficking ploys is the trafficker offering the victim an illegal job to work as a waitress in the USA. Sadly, many fall for it and end up being forced into prostitution instead.

(B) Illegal Immigrants Get No Help

Very often, victims of trafficking continue to do what they’re doing because they’re afraid of the authorities finding out they’re illegal immigrants and being deported. So a Thai girl in Japan or even the Russian girl who goes to America do not want to report anything, even if they have a chance because they have been convinced by the traffickers that illegal immigrants get no help. This is not true. Trafficking is a crime and irrespective of your immigration status, most countries are willing to help the victims and get others out of the situation too. Please refer to the Resources listed below to see how you can get help.

The Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA) includes provisions that allow victims of certain criminal activity to apply for legal immigration status in the United States:

Victims of certain serious crimes, who have suffered substantial mental or physical harm as a result of criminal activity in the United States and who cooperate in the criminal investigation or prosecution of such crimes, are eligible to receive a U visa, and may eventually apply for legal permanent residency in the United States. The U visa is available to domestic violence victims who are not married to their abusers, or whose abusers are not US citizens or lawful permanent residents.

(D) T Visa:

Victims who have been subjected to severe forms of sex or labor trafficking and who cooperate in the criminal investigation or prosecution of such crimes are eligible to receive a T visa, and may eventually apply for legal permanent residency in the United States. To receive these immigration protections, an applicant must meet further specific eligibility requirements.

For more information, please visit the US Citizenship and Immigration Services website.

(E) It Can’t Happen to Me!

The truth is it could really happen to almost anyone, in any part of the world. However, the key is to stay cautious and use your common sense when interacting with anyone online. If you are travelling overseas, make sure your family know all the details about who you’re going to meet and where you will be staying etc. For more tips on how to stay when travelling overseas, please see our Resources section.

9. How to Stay Safe

Here are some quick tips to stay safe online:

(a) Always keep your guard up and take the time to get to know another member before you make plans to meet them.

(b) It is much safer if you ask him to visit you rather than you going to an unknown city or country.

(c) If someone is offering you illegal jobs in their country or making other tall promises to you, don’t take the bait and report the member to the dating site’s administrators instead.

(d) The USA has a public sex offender’s database where you can type in the name of the person you’re chatting with online to check if they have any history of sex offences. Check up the database before you think of visiting your online boyfriend and if the results are positive for sex crimes, you should probably cancel your plans and stop chatting with the person.

(e) This database can also be especially helpful if you are moving to your boyfriend/fiancé’s country. If you’re moving to a different country and would still like information, the immigration department might be able to help you check up on any previous criminal and sexual offence records by referring to some of the databases listed below.

For more ways to stay safe and further help, please refer to our Resources section below

For more ways to stay safe and further help, please refer to Resources section below Powered by Trinayani Consultancy Services Pvt Ltd

9.1 Resorces

(a) Not sure how to prepare for your trip overseas? Click here for more information.

(b) For tips on ensuring your emotional safety, click here.

(d) The Human Trafficking website is an excellent source of information about trafficking across the world.

(e) The United States Department of Justice runs the Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW) which is a database of all convicted sex offenders in USA as well as Puerto Rico. In addition, if you would like more information on a particular jurisdiction or state, click here.

10. Internet dating SPam and SCam Overview

10.1 Spam & Scam Checklist

(i) Spam is junk mail

(ii) Solicitation is trying to sell something

(iii) Scammers appeal to victim's emotions

(iv) Scammers target anyone

(v) Scam victims can lose $1,000s

(vi) Read all our Scams & Spam pages

(vii) Protect yourself with information

Remember the golden rule -Never send money to anyonr you meet online.

10.2 Spam and Solicitation

More irritating than dangerous, spamming is the act of sending unwanted commercial advertising material as electronic junk mail, known as spam. Soliciting is the act of urging someone to buy something. If you’re being spammed or solicited by someone you’ve met through an online dating service, cease contact with that person and report their behavior as inappropriate.

Hopefully you will have set up a separate email account for online dating use, as advised in Getting Started, so it will be easy to quarantine the spammer’s emails. Otherwise most email service providers have so-called junk filters or spam blockers to keep the trash out of your inbox.

10.3 Online Dating Scams

Scams are more serious because the perpetrators are more sophisticated and the stakes higher, both financially and emotionally. There are many different variations of online dating scams but generally a scammer posts fake profiles on online dating services, befriends online dating users and manipulates their emotions with the aim of extracting money from the victim. Sometimes scammers might even steal your details and use your identity to scam other members.

Reputable online dating services have safety checks in place in an attempt to verify the legitimacy of member's profiles but scammers can still slip through using photos downloaded from the internet and fake profiles. While many scammers come from Russia, Eastern Europe and Africa and target men there is no concrete format. Anyone can be the target of a scammer and anyone that asks for money IS a scammer.

Please read about the Top 10 Scams, Identity Theft, Russian Scams, African Scams and True Scam Stories and Letters for detailed information about the most common online dating scams. Information, education and vigilance are the best forms of protection against online dating scammers and the golden rule is never send money to someone you have meet online

10.4 Resources

(a) USA Info – Information on Internet Fraud

(b) UK Info –Tips on How to avoid online fraud

(d) Inaian Info --- Information on Internet Fraud

11.Top 10 Scams

11.1 Popular Scams

(a) The Nigerian/Ghana Emergency Scam

(b) Plane Ticket & Visa Scam

(d) Nigerian 419 Scam

(e) Fake Police Scam

(f) Cashing Money Order Scam

(g) Lottery Scams

(h) Phony Inheritance Scams

(i) Disaster Relief Scams

(j) Business Investment Scams

(k) Job Scams, Online Classified Scams & Phishing

While online dating sites work hard to eliminate scammers from their sites, unfortunately some continue to be very deceptive and get past the fraud checks so it is important to be aware of what a potential scammer might attempt to do. Nobody wants to be scammed yet most people are not quite sure what to look out for. These are examples of some of the most notorious scams in the world of online dating and on the internet in general.

11.1 Nigerian/ Ghana Emergency Scam

This is one of the most popular scams in online dating. Nigeria and Ghana are notorious for their scammers and hence most people probably wouldn’t pursue a relationship with someone from one of these countries. These scammers are well aware of this and therefore often pretend to be from the USA/ UK/ Australia/ Canada or some other Western country.

Armed with their fake identity, the scammer proceeds to forge a bond with you. They often communicate with you for weeks and months so you think you are getting to know them better while it is actually all part of their master plan. The standard scam story then starts to unfold as your online date suddenly has some sort of emergency in Nigeria or Ghana. The stories may range from a businessman having an accident while in Nigeria for work to a helpless woman being stranded in Ghana; from asking for charity donations for Africa to a family member having a brain hemorrhage while in Africa. At the end of the day they all have the same basic plot – there is an emergency and won’t you please send them some money? Rest assured, once you do send the money that is the last you will hear of them and your money.

11.2 Plane Ticket & Visa Scam

This is a common ploy used by Russian and Filipino scammers to rob you off your money. The general storyline is she will want to come visit you but does not have enough money and will ask you to send her money to help pay for the plane ticket and/or visa. Once you do send the money however, it is unlikely that the visit will ever actually materialize.

As many people are now catching on to this, many scammers are trying variations of the same scam. Instead of asking you to send them money for their ticket, they will instead send you scanned copies of a ticket to convince you they are genuine and are really coming to visit you. They do not ask for money to buy the ticket or even for visa expenses… leading you to believe they are real. However, there is usually a last minute glitch and they will request you to send them a large amount of money without which the trip will be impossible. These scammers know immigration rules and regulations well and might even cite some sort of visa requirement as their reason for requesting money. You might find their reasons actually check out and send them the money but in all likelihood, you have been scammed of your money.

11.3 Medical Emergency Scam

Another common scam one comes across in online dating is the medical emergency scam. Just when you think your online relationship is going really well, your online partner will be faced with some sort of medical emergency. Variations of these include them needing surgery they can’t afford, treatment for their son’s brain tumor or you may even get a call from someone pretending to be a doctor telling you your partner has been in a serious accident and you need to send money so they can start treatment. Sometimes, the scams are long and stretched out with the scammers attempting to get as much money out of you as possible by cooking up a variety of medical complications. Do not send money if you are in a similar situation because it is probably a scam. Again, most often these scammers will pretend to be a Western man but in reality they will be scammers based in Africa.

11.4 The Nigerian 419 Scams

This breed of scams has been around for a very long time and is known as the advance fee fraud. It has various names such as the Nigerian 419, Nigerian money offer, the Spanish prisoner etc. Similar to the Spanish prisoner scam where the scamster promises to share his fortunes with the victim in exchange for money to bribe the prison guards, the Nigerian 419 has fully come into its own thanks to the availability of email. A scam victim will usually receive an email making an offer of a large sum of money. The subject lines often read something similar to "From the desk of Mr [name]" or even "Your assistance is solicited". While the stories may vary slightly, the general plot then talks of a person (usually a corrupt government employee) who has come across a large sum of money and needs your assistance to get the funds out of the country. The money could be cash, gold bullion, blood diamonds, gold dust, checks etc. The sums usually run up to millions of dollars with the victim being promised a huge chunk of it for their "help". Like all scams, there is a last minute problem and you will be requested to send some money to ensure everything goes smoothly. Needless to say that is the last you will hear of your apparent fortune.

11.5 Fake Police Scam

It’s terrible being the victim of a scam and the first thing most scam victims do is contact the police in the hope they can actually catch the person who duped them. Sometimes scammers figure out you are onto them but instead of backing off, they take advantage of the situation by pretending to be the police. So say you have been duped by a Nigerian scammer and you contact the Nigerian police for help. You might get an email apparently from the Nigerian police telling you they have closed in on the scammer and need a payment from you before they can arrest him. This is definitely a scam because the police (no matter which country) will never request money to catch a criminal! Have a look at the email address – something like ngerianpolice@htmail.co.im obviously cannot be the official email address of the Nigerian Police.

11.6 Money Order Cash Requests

As opposed to some of the other scams, in this type of scam the fraudster takes their time to build a relationship with their victim. After a few months when the scammer is convinced they have formed a bond with their victim, they request the victim to cash some money orders and wire transfer the money to t hem (usually to Nigeria or Ghana). The scammer pretends to be someone from a Western country based in Nigeria for work and hence cannot cash the money orders. This seems harmless enough and most people don’t think twice about it. However, these money orders are often doctored so a $250 money order could have been washed and altered to show a sum of $28000. Once the victim cashes it and wires the money, the bank usually detects a forged money order and the victim is then liable for the entire amount while the scammer gets away scot-free and richer by a few thousand dollars.

11.7 Lottery Scam

Have you ever received an email or even an actual letter telling you you've won an obscenely large amount in a lottery you never entered? It's definitely a scam so please do not send them any financial details because you're just setting yourself up for a fraud or identity theft.

11.8 Phony Inheritance Claims

Similar to the lottery scam, these scams revolve around you receiving an inheritance that you previously had no knowledge of. There are a few variations of this type of fraud but the bottom line is they are all scams. Some will write to you telling you they are "estate locators" who have located a long lost inheritance for you. Others might be from someone in Africa claiming to have received a huge inheritance which they want to share with you if you can help them get the money out of the country. The scamsters will typically ask for your bank details so they can deposit the money into your account and once they have those details, they will rob you of your money.

11.9 Disaster Relief Scam

Every time there is a disaster like the tsunami, a tornado or an earthquake, millions of do-gooders want to do something to help the victims. Scammers take advantage of this by setting up scam charity institutions which rob the money that you wanted to send to the victims of the disaster. Scammers also attempt phishing by sending you donation requests via email where you can click on a link which then leads you to website designed to steal your passwords and other details.

Sometimes, scammers also take advantage of disaster situations by pretending to be a victim themselves. For example, an earthquake in the Philippines affects millions and the scammer sees this as an opportunity to ask you to help them during this difficult time. They will spin a story about how they have lost everything due to the disaster and tug at your heart strings. Yet, despite losing everything they seem to be an online dating site? Isn’t that a bit odd?

11.10 Business Investment Scam

Business investment is another popular lure scammers use to attract their potential victims. People want to use their savings for a worthwhile investment option. Solicitations for an investment scam can come via email, telephone or even in the mail. Offers include work-at-home jobs and other get-rich-quick schemes, gambling software, opportunities to buy "secret" shares and other too-good-to-be-true schemes. How do you know it's a scam? While there is no foolproof rule, it is best to avoid investing in opportunities that have been presented to you by someone who came out of the blue. When investing your hard earned money, it is important to consult with a financial adviser about the best course of action.

11.11 Other Common Internet Scams

(A) Job scams

With the increasing use of job search sites (E.g. Monster.com) across the world scammers have found a new way to fool innocent victims. Scammers contact their victims on the pretext of offering them a job with unbelievably high salaries. With most people always on the lookout for a better job, these emails seem like a welcome opportunity with people seldom realizing it's a scam. As a potential "employer" they will request your bank account details etc so you can get paid but instead you could have money stolen from your account and even run the risk of identity theft.

(B) Online Classifieds Scam

Online classified sites have turned out to be some of the most popular websites for a variety of purposes including dating, buying and selling products and even finding work. Unfortunately they have also become notorious for their scams so if you are using an online classifieds website you should watch out. There are all sorts of scams on these sites including scammers even trying to fool you with overpayment for an item you list for sale. As always, never divulge your financial details and if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.

In this type of scam, the fraudsters usually lure the web surfer to a website which seems real and legitimate but in fact is set up to steal personal details, passwords etc. This is often used for identity theft as well. The common guise for phishing these days seems to be to “confirm your identity”. You might receive emails pretending to be from your bank, Paypal, eBay asking you to click on a link so you can confirm your identity. But this link does not lead to the actual website but will instead redirect you to a fake website cloned to look like the original. This information in the hands of scammers puts you at risk of potentially losing thousands of dollars.

There are various types of scams on the internet which prey on a person's good-hearted nature or vulnerability. It is therefore important to keep your guard up and think before divulging sensitive information online or to strangers. Now that you know what sort of scams could occur, if a scammer does happen to contact you, you will be able to spot them and report them immediately rather than wasting your time forming a relationship with them.

12. Scam Warning Signs

(a) Most scams follow a general pattern

(b) Russian scammers popularly use the plane ticket/visa scam

(d) Fake marriage agency scams

(e) Photos too good to be true?

(f) Odd emails?

(g) Unanswered questions?

(h) Tragedy or hardship?

(i) Professing Love?

"I was so naive and silly that I waited for Sofiya for 13 hours at the airport with a bunch of flowers. The damage for all this was $3,6125 USD and a broken heart." -- Scam Victim

Russian dating sites are very popular and while many men have met genuine, loving Russian women, unfortunately sometimes one encounters scammers as well. There are many variations of online dating scams originating in Russia and Eastern Europe but they have in common a high emotional and financial cost to unsuspecting scam victims. Typically, a man comes into contact with a scammer through an online dating agency. The scammer will have photos showing a young and attractive woman though her profile may say she’s from America or England. The scammer will later explain that she’s from Russia but couldn’t select it as an option on the dating site.

12.1 General Scam Pattern

In the first few letters the scammer will say what a good woman she is and how hard life is in Russia. Her monthly salary is only a few hundred dollars, all Russian men are drunks and maybe her family died in a tragic accident or they are ill and in need of surgery. Heart strings are pulled and victims are sucked in.

At this point she will set the victim up as her knight in shining armor, the only one who can help her. She might just need money to pay her bills but will probably want desperately to come and visit him in his Western nation. She professes her love and gives instructions to send money through Western Union or MoneyGram.

This is a broad example of Russian online dating scams. The period from first contact to first cash request could be a few days or a few months but regardless how long you've "known" the person, a request for money is a scam.

Scammers operate from countries with low per capita income and even if a scam takes months to pay out it is worthwhile for them, even for just a few hundred dollars. Scammers use services like Western Union because it is all but impossible to track the recipient of the money which can be picked up anywhere in the world.

A scammer could be a man or woman operating solo, posing as an attractive young lady, or part of an organized scamming operation. Such operations have been known to hire young Russian women to act as the voice on the other end of that romantic phone call.

12.2 Plane Ticket/ Visa Scam

After taking the time to get to know you, she says she's coming to visit you or wants to move to your country. She will then ask you to send her money for her plane ticket and/or visa. This ploy also relies on the stereotypical assumption that all Russian and Eastern European women want to move to or visit America, Canada, the UK or Australia which simply isn't the case.

With many people catching on to this scam, the scammers have “improvised” their story a little. They do not ask for money for a ticket or visa but instead send you a scanned visa as “proof”. This is likely to be a scan of a fake or fabricated visa. Just when you think everything is going smoothly, there is a last minute problem and they will request you to urgently send them some money, without which it will be impossible for them to make their trip. Sometimes, they will even cite certain immigration requirements to sound more convincing. But rest assured, once you send that money that is the last you will hear from her.

If you are seeing a Russian woman and are keen on meeting her, it is always wiser for you to go visit them instead of inviting them to visit you. This way you can avoid losing money through a scam and a traditional Russian woman would probably prefer it if the man made the effort to come visit her.

12.3 Translation Scams

This is another common scam used by Russian scammers. A Russian woman will start interacting you but tell you she cannot speak or understand English. After some time, she will tell you she cannot continue communicating with you as she cannot afford to pay for the translation service anymore. At this point, they either expect you to offer to pay for the service or even ask you if you will be willing to pay for the service so you can continue your relationship. This is a scam and you should never send money for it!

12.4 Fake Marriage Agency Scams

There are several fake website masquerading as Russian marriage agencies promising to bring Western men and Russian women together. While most Russian dating websites are genuine, a number of them are fake and their so-called members are not real either. They will ask you for large amounts of money, promising to set you up with a beautiful Russian women but your money is as good as gone because the agency is a scam. Choose a reputable dating service or agency in order to avoid being scammed this way.

12.5 Great Photos, Vague Descriptions == Alarm Bells

You come across a profile of a young, attractive woman on an online dating site or maybe she contacts you. The photos are stunning, perhaps professionally taken or provocative, but the description of what she's looking for in a partner is vague. It could be a scammer, often a man, using photos downloaded from the internet in the hope of sucking in as many victims as possible.

12.6 Odd Emails = =Alarm Bells

So you've missed the first warning sign and are corresponding with an attractive young lady from Russia or Eastern Europe. She writes gushing, emotive emails but do your questions often go unanswered? Does it seem like she's not reading your letters? It could be a scammer using template emails sent to dozens of men.

12.7 She's in Love with You == Alarm Bells

After a few emails or even a few months she professes her undying love for you. Love is, generally, an acquired feeling but someone you've never met claims to have given her whole heart to you. It could be a scammer setting you up for the big hit.

12.8 Request for Money, Large or Small == Scam

The scammer comes to the crunch, requesting a sum of cash. The reason could be unpaid household bills or emergency surgery for a family member but it is most likely to be travel and visa expenses. Typically the scammer requests an amount to travel to Moscow and purchase a plane ticket and then a few days before the ‘departure' she will say that she urgently needs a few thousand dollars in her account as a security bond to enter your country. Don't bother booking a welcome dinner, you're being scammed.

13. Scam Warning Signs

(a) Cash for "emergencies" – The Nigerian/Ghana Emergency Scam

(b) Someone wants to share a fortune – The Nigerian 419 Scam

(d) Cashing money orders

(e) Watch out for fake profiles

While most African singles looking for a date online are genuine, it cannot be denied that many online dating scams originate in African nations such as Nigeria, Ghana or Ivory Coast due to the low per capita income, high rates of unemployment, high rates of corruption and ineffective policing in these areas. The money extracted from victims in North America, Europe and Australia translates to huge fortunes for the scammers who are willing to put weeks or months of work into getting a good payout. Both men and women are targets. Many scammers are well educated and all are heartless so read on for common African online dating scams and protect yourself.

13.1 The Nigerian/Ghana Emergency Scam

This is the most common scam in online dating. You might be interacting with a man, say, "Wiliam Johnes" from USA/ UK/ Australia/ Canada or some other Western country. After some time, "Wiliam" has to travel to Nigeria or Ghana for some reason e.g. a business trip or to visit his child in a Nigerian boarding school or even a safari. Soon enough there is some sort of "emergency" with either the child suffering from a brain hemorrhage or "Wiliam" suffering a life threatening accident. You will then be requested to send a large amount of money for treatment and promises that you will be paid back ASAP. It's a scam, don't send a cent, cease contact and report the scammer. "Wiliam" is probably not even based in a Western country and is yet another Nigerian scammer trying to dupe innocent people off their money.

Scammers often use female profiles as well to fool their potential victim. Again, they pretend to be a woman from a Western country while all the while being based in Nigeria. They then solicit you for money for a charity they run in Nigeria or Ghana. In all likelihood there is no charity and you have been robbed off your money by a scammer.

13.2 Nigerian 419 Scam

Also known as the advance fee scam this is an oldie but a goody. Supposedly named after a defunct piece of Nigerian Law the 419 scam has been operating in various incarnations for years. The basic idea is that you're contacted by someone who has access to large sums of money and wishes to move them through your bank account. They might say that someone has died leaving millions or they might be a corrupt government official draining federal funds and they want to share this unbelievable fortune with you. All they need is a sum of your money to get things rolling or to cover bank fees. Whatever creative, captivating and greed inducing story you read know this: it's a scam. However much you send, you will never see the money again.

13.3 Fake Kidnap Scam

Taking advantage of the "dangerous" perception of Africa, scammers often create elaborate fake kidnap plans. Again, they pretend to be someone from a Western country, visiting Nigeria or Ghana for some reason. They are consequently kidnapped and you will be asked to urgently send them some ransom money to help them get out of the messy situation. Yes, this one definitely pulls on the heart strings because you will obviously want to do something to help but don't fall for it because it is simply a way to play on people's emotions and then scam money from them.

While cases like this are very, very rare, there is another variation of the kidnap scam. It is one of the most alarming of all online dating scam stories is that of Australian man Desmond Gregor who flew to Mali in North Western Africa hoping to meet his online sweetheart. Instead he met twelve men armed with machetes who held him captive, demanding ransom. Gregor was lucky to escape with the help of the Canadian Embassy. This is an extreme case of online dating scamming but should serve as a wake up call to all online daters; do you really know who is on the other end of that email or phone? Of course millions of people have flown across countries and continents to find the loves of their life but it's important to keep personal safety in mind.

13.4 Cashing Money Orders

Some scammers claim to be North American, European or Australian citizens working in an African nation such as Ghana, Nigeria or based in Lagos. The story goes that they are paid in money orders but are having trouble cashing them; could you please cash the orders and wire the money to Nigeria? If the victim agrees they will receive money orders that have been bought for a small fee, such as $20, and doctored to read hundreds or thousands of dollars. The victim will cash this order and send the money through an irreversible process such as wiring with Western Union as instructed by the scammer. A few days or weeks later their bank calls, informing the victim the money orders were fraudulent and that they are responsible for the amounts owing. Ouch.

13.5 Great Photos, Vague Descriptions = =Alarm Bells

14. Scam Warning Signs

(a) Asks for money to see her on webcam?

(b) Asks for money for education?

(d) Asks for money for plane tickets or visas?

(e) Asks for money for a medical emergency?

(f) Professing love at first sight?

(g) Multiple requests for Money?

Although the majority of Filipino singles are genuine and serious about finding a partner; unfortunately a few of them turn out to be scammers and malign Filipinos on online dating sites. Most Filipino dating scammers work on the principle of low value, high volume scamming. Typically this involves asking a victim to send a small amount of money to buy food, pay for daily living expenses, internet access, hiring a private room with a webcam or numerous other variations on the above. Filipino scammers may also ask you to send money for plane tickets, visa fees, marriage annulment fees or other travel related expenses.

14.1 Webcam scams

There are several variations on this scam. In one variation a Filipino asks you to send money so that she can purchase a webcam for an online video chat with you. The victim sends the money to purchase a webcam and the lady vanishes with the money never to be seen again. In another variation the Filipino lady may ask the victim to send money so she can hire a private room in an internet café. Once again, the lady vanishes with the money. In the final variation of this scam the Filipino lady may explain that she is a student and is moonlighting as a webcam girl at an adult chat site. The Filipino lady sends the user a link to an adult chat site and states that the service is free and a credit card is only needed for age verification. Several weeks later the victim looks at their credit card statement and sees billing for adult chat services.

14.2 Education fee scams

In this scam the scammer asks you to send money for fees for college, university or other educational activities.

14.3 Food, rent or living expense scam

In this scam the scammer asks you to send money for food, rent, internet access or other living expenses. Typically this will be followed by a request for another small amount of money shortly after the victim sends their initial amount.

14.4 Travel expense and visa fee scam

In this scam the scammer will say that he/she wants to visit you but doesn't have enough money to pay for his/her plane ticket and travel expenses. They will then suggest that you send them the money so they can purchase a plane ticket. Shortly later they will tell you they need additional money for a passport, visa fees, transportation to the airport and miscellaneous expenses. In some cases they will also tell the victim that the visa requirements state that they need to have a certain amount of money in their bank account so they can proof to the immigration official that they have sufficient funds for their visa. Some scammers will show fake copies of plane tickets, visas or other documents to make the travel plans appear to be authentic. After wiring the money the victim waits at the airport patiently with a bunch of flowers for his/her love of their life to arrive. Only when all passengers are off the plane and the scammer doesn't show up do they realize that they've been scammed. In order to avoid these scams never send money for any travel related expense, instead make it clear that you will travel to meet them After you have spent considerable time chatting to them for many months. Also, make it clear that you will never send any money to anyone you meet online. If the person is genuine they should be very happy that you will travel to meet them, if they are a scammer and sense that they will never receive any money you will probably find that they disappear as soon as they realize they will never receive any financial benefit from communicating with you.

14.5 Medical emergency == emergency scam

In this scam the scammer will contact the victim and explain that either they or some close family member has had some tragic accident or medical emergency and will die or suffer grave consequences unless you send them enough money to pay for the medical fees. Typical scenarios include traffic accidents, brain hemorrhages, heart attacks, kidney operations etc. In many occasions the scammer may have primed the victim by previously telling you all about their fake mom, son daughter etc and the victim may have even spoken to the fake mom, son daughter etc on the phone or by email. This is a ploy to gain greater sympathy from you when they reveal that “mom” will die in 24 hours unless you send the funds for an emergency operation. This scam plays on the victim’s emotions and can be hard to resist.

14.6 Request for Money, Large or Small == Scam

It's important to remember that anytime anyone sends any money to any scammer, no matter how small, it encourages the scammer to harass other online daters for money. We strongly recommend never sending any money to anyone that you meet online, don't even send money to buy a postage stamp…not a cent…zilch, nada. Remember when the money sending stops the scamming will too.

15. True Scam Stories & Letters

Scammers targeting online daters are breaking hearts and

draining bank accounts from bases in Russia, Eastern Europe, America, the UK and elsewhere in the world. The scammers typically play on the victim’s emotions, professing their love and gaining the victim’s trust before asking for money.

Below is the sad story of the victim of a super-scammer: a highly advanced Russian scammer who duped this man out of $5,625 and broke his heart. Following are the actual letters sent by another Russian scammer to another unsuspecting victim in the United States who was scammed out of $3,200. Notice there was less than a month between “Hello!” and “How Much”.

15.1 Super Scammed

I am a 23 year old divorced father of one. I wish to share with everybody a financially and emotionally painful experience I had with an attractive 25 year old hairdresser from Yoshkar-Ola, Russia. On 7 April 2007 I received an email from a lady named Sofiya through an internet dating site. It was very short and straight to the point.

We then started exchanging emails and photos and I was fooled by her emotional and warm words. She talked about how important it is to have trust and that she prefers to view the world as having more good people than bad and that she could not wait until she lives with me in Australia to be "happy forever". She was very convincing and I believed everything she said. The slight difference in Sofiya's technique compared to other scammers was that she answers questions in detail. She even talked about some local issues and cultural matters too. When I asked her why such a beautiful young lady is interested in me, she said that Russian men are alcoholics and that they do not respect women. We exchanged emails every day up until 22 May 2007.

I challenged Sofiya before she asked me for any money and said that her communication style fits perfectly into the "scam pattern". Sofiya then sent me a photo of herself with her mother, a photo of her as a little child etc to try and prove that she was genuine and she even telephoned me in the middle of the night! I felt sorry for her and unfortunately we re-commenced our communication.

On 24 April 2007 Sofiya asked me for money to purchase an air ticket, visa, passport, insurance etc with a total amount of $2,845 USD which I paid via Western Union on 8 May 2007. Sofiya then gave me details of her itinerary on 11 May 2007. Then on 22 May 2007 whilst she was supposedly in Moscow collecting her visa from the Australian Embassy, I received an urgent email request (from an internet cafe apparently) for $2,500 AUD to prove to the Embassy, her financial capacity to stay in Australia during the one month period.

She even telephoned me two times and we talked on the second call and she sounded very distressed begging me to pay that amount via Western Union. I checked the immigration policy in Australia and we actually do have a requirement to pay security bond when application for visa is lodged in certain countries including Russia. I therefore totally believed her and paid $2,350 AUD through Western Union on 23 May 2008.

I have not heard from Sofiya since I sent a confirmation to her that money has been transferred on 23 May 2008. I was so naive and silly that I waited for Sofiya for 3 hours at the airport with a bunch of flowers. Singapore Airlines later confirmed that Sofiya's original booking was cancelled by a Russian agent and that she did not re-book her flights.

The damage for all this was $3,645 USD and a broken heart. Oh and not to mention the one month annual leave that I forcefully obtained from my work and beachfront accommodation and restaurants that I had to cancel.

15.2 Actual Scam Letters

Letter 1: Fake Biography of a Scammer

4/12/2008

Hi ,

My dear friend Dave!!! I am very happy, that you have answered my letter. I think, that I and you Dave, we shall be the best friends and I think, that we on it we shall not stop and in the future we become people close each other. But I want once again I shall tell, that we should not hasten. I know that we should get too know each other, and I hope that we can discover that we can truly be free to express ourselves together and be knowing each other like man and wife. That you would know me and I would know you. I am sure, that ours relations will stand all tests and we shall find that searched. I want to inform you, about myself. I was born 16/02/1978 in city of Omsk. Omsk - the largest industrial, scientific and cultural centre of Western Siberia having in high social, scientific, industrial potential. Omsk is on distance of 22255 km to from Moscow. Time zone of Omsk it GMT+6. I the single child and at me was not present brothers and sisters. I till now live with my parents in one apartment.

I have learnt the english language when studied in the Omsk state university. I work in pharmacology to firm. To us send medical products about all to Russia. On work I study biotransformation of medicinal substances in organism, biochemical mechanisms, actions of medical products in clinical practice. Very much to like me my work as it responsible and from it depends health of people. I not when was not abroad, but the last year, in the summer I was on the black sea in city of Gelendzhik. I was very pleased as I the first time saw the sea and there many people, in comparison with our city. The population of Omsk - 143 thousand people. At leisure, I like to go to cinema, theatre to look teleshow.

I very cheerful person, I like to laugh, I love films of a comedy. I am not able to play on a musical instrument, though very much sometime I want to learn to play on the piano. Sometimes we meet with friends, we discuss, as has passed the day, interesting histories, jokes etc. At you it is a lot of friends? Who your best friend?

Kiss in a cheek. Your friend, Aleksandra.

Letter 2: Gushing Letter Sets Emotional Tones

4/13/2009

Hello,

My dear Dave. It is pleasant to speak with the man from other continent and understand that I can find general language with the man which has grown in other culture, in other country. Today here is perfect day and there is a lot of to people in streets of city. I come to an idea that I would like to walk with you sometime as simply as other people do it. I'm really very lonely in my life and it occurs from lack of mutual understanding between the people. All of us hurry up somewhere, we hasten some where and practically we don't notice each other. The people so strongly are in the ideas and problems, that sometimes it is very difficult to knock up to consciousness of other man. They look at you as it seems, they talk to you as it seems, but by detailed consideration we make only common phrases.

Very seldom on a question: " how are your businesses? " - we can hear about a real situation of things in life of the man. Did you notice ever how open some children can be? It's so perfect. I very much would like to find the man, which would be open and always be young soul. And else I very much frequently think of the responsibility, which we accept, when we occur in life any man. When we interfere in someone's life, becoming the friends or beloved, we carry huge responsibility for an emotional condition and further behaviour those with whom we communicate. Each minute, each word can turn the further life of the man by a completely uncertain image. Unfortunately not everybody understand this so deeply, and many people didn't reflect on it at all.

The human indifference to all except for itself is the basic factor, which defines the majority of things concerning the man and woman in the modern world. We think of ourselves and about our feelings very much, but aren't noticing that occurs in soul of the close man. I'm tired from this indifference and I want to be near to man,which will love me,will understand me and will be thinking about that he does and what speaks..... Excuse, that I have given vent to you to my soul today, but I would want that you knew it. I hope that you understand me and that I write you. You became very dear to me and I would like to develop our attitudes on a way of mutual understanding and respect.

With the best wishes Aleksandra.

Letter 3: She's In Love!

11/08/2018

Hi,

My love Dave! I am very glad to read your letter as they give me confidence with the happy future. You know, in the childhood I dreamed, that I shall find the prince , with whom I can come on edge of the ground. In a consequence, I have understood, that actually there are no princes. Ideal the man cannot be found. But close to an ideal which is necessary for you, you can find. I can not tell you with confidence, that you - my ideal. No. You too can not tell, that I - your ideal. But in it the reason, what people fall in love? No. The reason here in many respects. I can not explain an origin of love. I can not explain why the woman draws to the man.

I can not explain why the man draws to the woman. It occurs at a subconscious level. Private world of the person informs to the person about it. And in a consequence, you understand, that it is the truth. I write you it, that you could understand what to be created in my ideas. I understand, that you are intended for me, but I am afraid to inform you about it. I also am afraid to tell you that the love to you has come in my heart. I am afraid to tell you, that I love you. I am afraid to tell it as the love should be mutual. My mum also speaks me, that I should be more cautious with the feelings. With feeling of love, the person does many nonsenses. And I not exception.

You know, when I have decided to begin acquaintance through the Internet, I thought about myself. (for fun or seriously) It is interesting, if I shall find the love in your country, I should go in your country? ( it there were my ideas before I have got acquainted with you) Further, I did not think of it. But time has come, when I should think of it. I think that you agree with me. My lovely, my dear, I am afraid to speak you about it, but I LOVE YOU!!! And I shall wait for the letter from you with impatience.

Your Aleksandra.

Letter 4: Tragedy Strikes, Heartstrings Pulled

14/11/2015

Hello Dave,

I am VERY SORRY that I could not write to you earlier! I am sorry, that a lot of time was required for me so much to write to you the letter. I hope that you will understand me. It was connected to tragedy - my girlfriend Olga has died, she had ill kidneys and they have killed her. And to me it was necessary urgently to leave for other city on funeral. When I about it have learned, I did not have time to inform you about it, because I very urgently have left from my city. I could not at once leave from there, because for hers mother it there was a not filling loss and it was very difficult to her by one to cope with this large loss.

I thought, that I shall stay there some days, but have passed more time. I could not leave from there parents Olga support was necessary. For his father it too was big shock. They constantly cried also to their mountain was most of all on this light, because they have lost most dear that at them was and that at them could be is their child Olga. The child for which they have lived all life and for which they have devoted the life. They would prefer to die together them daughter. It is very sad. I very many tears have spilled together with them. But to live all the same is necessary. For this all time I very much on you missed, but I could not leave them in such difficult time, my help and my support was required him, we talked also by him it became slightly easier. I have arrived recently and at once has come to write you letter. I very much hope on yours a prompt reply.

Yours Aleksandra.

Letter 5: She Loves You and Wants to Meet

14/12/2016

My lovely and tender Dave!

Fantastic feelings have gushed over me, and I have decided to write them to you. My love to you Dave how the snow avalanche, has covered me with a head and pulls me in uncertainty, and I do not know that waits for me ahead?! There can be sharp thorns at the bottom of gorge, and there can be infinite Alpine meadows filled with the sun with the high soft grasses, stupefying sweet aroma of love. And this uncertainty excites me even more. My love to you uplifts me most above and rescues from this mad love. I on a threshold of madness. I'm so exited, I'm so happy, beloved! I don't know how you felt when you read my letter, but I'm very much, very happy to read that you love me too! I cannot sit quietly in front of the computer! I'm so happy that I want to jump, to run, to shout at all world about that as I love you and as I'm happy that we have found each other!!! I so long waited for you, beloved.

The ground go from under my legs!!! I want to fly as a bird!!! I want to take much, a lot of a paint and to decorate this world in bright juicy colours of my love!!!!! I love, I love, I love you, Dave!!! You're such good, such lovely, Dave! I love you!!!!! I simply don't know what to tell. I have feeling that my dream begins to come true and I shall love you and I shall be loved by you! It's so beautiful! I necessarily shall find out everything that is necessary to arrive to you, beloved. I think that it will be uneasy, but I think together we shall cope, because ahead whole life expects us to love and to be happy! ( That's all, I have got tired to jump) How I want to be now with you, to have an opportunity to tell you about my love to you, to touch you, to kiss you!!! I love you, Dave!!!!!!!

With huge love to my most charming and beloved angel,

from Aleksandra.

Letter 6: Request for $2,200 for Airfare through Western Union

21/05/2016

Hello,

My love Dave. I am again happy to see your letter. All necessary documents and services of the company will cost 450 dollars and 750 air tickets. In general I need 1200 dollars. Lovely, you can find out this information it is direct from visa agency.www.visas.ru they work with the American embassy since 1991 and well know all "reefs" of process of registration of visas in this embassy. Lovely, I am very sad, when I have found out cost of the visa. I simply can not pay it. For me it is impossible, as I earn the salary 1400 dollars per one month. It's make me little suppressed and disappointed. I don't have so much now. I was make application but I must pay for it.

I asked my mother about our savings she said that the money should not be a barrier between two people which love each other. I counted my sum and I found out that I have only about fifty dollars and my wages. will be not soon. I asked my friends about helping me and they said that have not at the present moment. I asked the advice my mother and she said that maybe you can help me, because you loves me. I asked her how he can help me, because he is far from me. My mother said that you can send the money through company which make this service.

I asked about it, on my work and I know now, that exists reliable and fast company, which makes remittances in world and it's western union. I remember that I saw advertising this company on tv. I take a directory book and found the address of it and it's not far from me. I went there, and I asked them about service. They said that sender must go to the western union, give them information: the name and last name of receiver, country they make transfer and bring the ten digits secret code to sender. The receiver must know ten digits for receiving money. They say that the branches of it must be everywhere worldwide.

Here is the information about me:

Country: Russia

City: Omsk

Name: Aleksandra

Lastname: Lioletova

Address: of branch of western union:

ALFAA BANK

zipcode: 6454001,

Omsk,

Street. Kuibishev, 49

The phone: 3852 53-51-769

I must know your full name, full address and 100 figures (MTCN) You must know that I decide to ask you about it because I love you and trust you very much. I decide to come to you because I feel this way and you are very necessary to me, decided to come to the unfamiliar country and I never be outside my country. But I decided to do it because now you are part of my life and I trust you in all. My love I need 5200 american dollars I think you will help me because we found our love and we want to meet closer.

You must inform me ten digits and I can receive it. You must know we must hurry because I can receive the documents soon, and if we lost the time it is necessary for a long time. Now it's very difficultly to receive the visa to your country, and it's fact, but if I pay now, I think I do it. I think about sense of money, and I'm very sad if this paper can prevent people to meet each other. In most cases the money play a main role in life but it's not right! I'm sure. And the quantity of money was and will not important to me, I always not aspired to material enrichment and don't search specially for rich male. I appreciate human qualities and relations, and I love you Dave!!!!!!!!! I love you all my heart, I want to be with you now. I want to be with you forever.

If it's mutually we will be very happy in our life. I think you love me too and we will meet very soon. You are my love, my Angel. My heart is yours. I'm waiting good news from you, I hope everything will be all right and we will be together soon. Every day I think about our meeting, and I think it's real, we must use this chance of destiny.

I Love You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Always your love Aleksandra.

16. Engagement Checklist

(a) Know what you want before you get engaged

(b) Do your background research

(d) Ensure your marriage is legally recognized.

While online dating is a fantastic way to meet potential spouses, it also raises the likelihood of a long-distance partnership for some. Picking a color theme for your reception pales in comparison to the questions of where to live; which visas to arrange and what to do if things go wrong. If you have found your dream partner and are considering tying the knot, consider our tips to help you along the way.

16.1 What Do You Want?

Before you get engaged and make a commitment, ask yourself whether you're really looking for a long-term partner or just want someone to go to the movies with and know there's nothing wrong with the latter. After all, online dating is the perfect way to meet someone to discuss the plot with and hopefully they'll explain what happened when you ducked out for more popcorn. If you're sure you want a long term partner and this is “the one”, we couldn't be happier for you.

16.2 Take Your Time

Getting married is the biggest decision of your life so it is very important that you take your time to get to know your partner before you decide to tie the knot. Meeting your perfect someone online is absolutely fantastic but give your relationship time to grow and mature before you decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. If it really is true love, waiting a few months or a year to get to know each other shouldn't diminish your love for each other at all. So don't impulsively jump into a marriage. Take your time, get better acquainted and if it is meant to be, you have a wonderful life to look forward to together.

16.3 Background Information

If you are in love and ready to get married, you probably know your partner really well already. However, it never hurts to have a little extra information, especially if you are in two minds.

(a) You can hire a company to do a full background check on your partner. Most people usually do this to ensure the person they are marrying isn’t a criminal of some sort.

(b) The US Sex Offender database is useful too as it lists any person who may have a criminal record for a sexual offence. So if John Smith has been arrested for sex crime previously and you search for John Smith in the database, you should be able to find the details and it is a good way to look before you leap. In other countries, these services are usually not available to the public but the police should be able to help you out.

(c) If financial stability is important, you can ask to see their credit report. Sometimes this information is covered in the background check as well.

(d) If you are planning to immigrate to your partner’s country, we assume the immigration process will be very thorough and should ideally provide you with more information about your future partner. For more details, please get in touch with the embassy of the relevant country.

Living Arrangements

Meeting and marrying someone from the same town usually does not pose this problem but for long distance relationships, this is one of the most important questions you need to ask because you can't be married and living in two different places.

If you are within the same country, then it's just a matter of deciding who will move, depending on your circumstances. Consider work, standard of living, and any other issues that may be important to you before you make a decision.

If you are marrying someone from overseas, decisions about where to live can be complicated and need careful consideration. In the majority of cases, women move to the man's country but it doesn't always have to be this way. If your partner is moving to your country, consider all immigration laws before bringing them over. Most countries will grant them a legal status but sometimes this can take a few months to finalize so make sure you're doing everything right.

16.4 Visa Considerations

Marrying a foreign national means you will have to abide by certain immigration rules and arrange for the right visa so your partner can be with you. While a tourist visa will allow them to visit you, it will be only be for a limited time. Most countries have other visa options for spouses.

(a) Fiancée Visa –

Allows a foreign national entry into a country for the purpose of marrying a citizen of the host country. There are usually conditions attached to the class of visa that require you to prove that you genuinely intend to marry your fiancé(e) within a specified time limit from the date you are granted a visa, and that you intend to then live with your partner as their spouse. Once you marry your spouse will probably have a 1 or 2 year probationary period before permanent residency is granted.

(b) Spouse Visa –

Allows a foreign national who is married to a citizen of the host country to enter the host country as the wife or husband of the sponsor. You will have to provide evidence that you have married and that you intend to remain together as a genuine husband and wife. Your spouse will probably have a 1 or 2 year probationary period before permanent residency is granted.

For more country specific information, take a look at some of these websites or get in touch with the immigration department of your country. Alternatively you can ask a registered migration agent or an immigration lawyer for advice.

(a) US Info – Information on spouse visas on the U.S. Department of State website.

(b) UK Info – UK spouse visa information on the UK Border Agency website.

(d) Canada Info – Information from the Citizenship and Immigration Canada website.

(e) Indian Info – Information from the Citizenship and Immigration Indian website.

16.5 Where to Get Married

Making a decision about where to get married is more than just picking a venue for your reception; especially if you and your partner are from different countries and are planning an overseas wedding.

If you and your partner are from different countries, you need to decide which country you want to get married in. Apart from your personal preferences, you should make sure your wedding plans meet the legal requirements of the country is which the ceremony takes place.

No matter where you get married, don't forget to check that the marriage is legally accepted in your home country/country of residence. As long as a marriage is legally recognized, you can get married wherever the two of you choose.

17. Marriage Problems & Getting Separated

(a) Try to resolve all issues amicably

(b) Stay safe at all times

(d) Consider all practical aspects of a separation

Sometimes marriage isn’t the happily ever after we are looking for and couples might experience problems in their relationship. Hopefully you will be able to sort out your issues or separate amicably but in the event that things turn sour, remember to stay safe.

So if the person you married doesn’t seem anything like the person you fell in love with or you are victim of domestic violence, help is available, even if you are a foreign national. Read our Marriage Issues Option for more information.

If you have decided to separate, there are some important issues you will need to consider as well. It is an emotional time, but it is essential that you take care of all the practical details. If you are a foreign citizen in the country, you will also need to consider immigration issues in the event of a separation. For more information, visit our Separation and Divorce Option.

18. Marriage Issues & Marriage Problems

(a) Commitment and adjustment issues may be hard to handle.

(b) Lies and distorted facts can fracture a marriage.

(d) Don’t be afraid to seek help

Several couples meet online and live happily ever after just like in fairytales but sometimes there can be trouble in heaven. Couples who marry their online love may sometimes experience marital problems. Some of these marital issues can be worked on while others are deal breakers. Please remember that help is available so don't be afraid to seek it if you need it.

18.1 Adjustment Issues

Marriage problems for some couples start with their inability to adjust to their new life. This could be because you simply weren't ready to get married and commit just yet. For some, getting married involves moving to a different city or country and they aren't able to adjust to this change. This might be temporary for some, and with some help you can get through it. For others, you might realize you're too miserable and not so-in-love anymore, and in such a situation it's best to separate.

18.2 Lies and Exaggerations

Hopefully you will know your partner well enough before you tie the knot. However, sometimes it's hard to be objective through rose-tinted glasses. So what happens is you don't know enough about your partner, or worse, they've lied to you and convinced you about them and their life that are definitely not true.

So you get married and then realize things aren't exactly the way you were made to imagine. Lies and exaggerations can be about pretty much anything –

(a) Personality traits

(b) Financial status

(d) Sexual prowess and fertility

(e) Ex-partners

(f) Criminal records

(g) Children

(h) Illness

(i) Addictions

So is a lie or an exaggeration a deal breaker? That would really depend on you but ask yourself some of these questions.

(a) Does it change the way you feel about them?

(b) Can you overlook the fib and continue living with your partner?

(d) How big or small is the lie? For example, if they told you they earned $50,000 but really earn $40,000 – it might not be hard to live with it. However, if you discover they have a serious criminal record – you might need to do some serious thinking.

(a) Can you forgive them for the lie?

(b) Will the lie affect your relationship?

Your answers to these questions can help you decide whether or not you want to stay married to your partner.

18.3 Domestic Violence & Abuse

Abuse in a relationship can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and even financial. Victims of domestic violence often deny they are in an abusive relationship but if your relationship shows obvious patterns of abuse that your partner is using to gain control over you, you are definitely a victim. Abuse in any form should not be tolerated and you must take a stand to prevent it. Click here to read more about domestic violence and how and where you can get help.

18.4 Getting Help

If your marriage with your online love is going through a bad patch or simply isn’t working out, you should seek help

(a) Counseling – Relationship counseling or marriage therapy can help you and your partner get through the not-so-big issues, and sometimes even the big ones.

– If your marriage issues are particularly hard to handle or you are a victim of domestic violence, a good counselor can help you deal with the pain.

(b) Community Support – There are several community support groups that can help you handle your problems better. For example, a support group for domestic violence victims can help you sympathize and empathize with others who have suffered the same. Or, if you are missing home and this is affecting your marriage, you can seek out a group of expatriates from your country in your city to help you ease into your new culture.

(c) Legal Help – Some issues are not easy to handle by yourself so get help from a qualified solicitor in such a situation. In the case of domestic violence, you might need to get in touch with the police or contact other government organizations for intervention as well.

(d) Confidants – Last but not the least, never undermine the support of your friends and family. Whether you just talk to them about your adjustment issues or need them to get you through a relationship that is ending – confide and you will feel better.

19. Domestic Violence

19.1 Abusive Relationships

(a) Any form of abuse used to gain control over another person is domestic violence

(b) Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological or financial.

(d) Immigration policies include special provision for domestic violence victims

If your relationship is developing a pattern of some sort of abuse, you may be a victim of domestic violence (DV). If one intimate partner is using coercion, threats, physical violence, intimidation, isolation, emotional or any other type of abuse to control the other partner, it is classified as domestic violence.

While many people like to believe “it could never happen to me”, in fact domestic abuse can happen to anyone in any part of the world. People of any nationality, ethnicity, religion, gender or economic status can become domestic violence victims. Domestic abuse has been known to occur in same sex relationships as well as opposite sex relationships.

According to data from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence General Information Packet (2007), almost 95% of DV victims are women. Of the women in intimate relationships, more than half are likely to experience physical violence at some point in their relationship and for about 24-30% of these women, this violence and battering is likely to be ongoing.

Most abusers are men and while big, loud aggressive men seem like the stereotypical abusers, even small, quiet, unassuming men can be abusive.

If you have children and are living in a poisonous abusive environment, this could affect their well being as well. They are not only traumatized by the abuse, but they are at risk of becoming victims of the abuser as well. Long term exposure to an abusive relationship can lead to severe psychological and social problems for the child. Some studies also say that boys who grow up in an abusive environment are likely to become abusers as well but this is not true in all cases.

Abuse isn’t always limited to being physical alone and any sort of abuse in a relationship is an instant deal breaker. Domestic violence can include physical, emotional, sexual, economic and psychological abuse.

19.2 Physical Abuse

If your partner is doing any of the following – hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, biting, pinching, hair pulling etc, it qualifies as physical abuse. In addition, if you are refused medical care or are being forced to use alcohol or drugs, you are a victim of physical abuse.

19.3 Sexual Abuse

Any sexual contact without consent qualifies as sexual abuse. Remember, being married does not automatically give your partner the right to force sexual contact. Marital rape, intimidating one to force into having sex, forcing a victim to perform sexual acts on another person, forcing a victim to pose for sexually explicit photographs or simply just treating a victim in a manner that is sexually derogatory counts as sexual abuse.

19.4 Economic Abuse

When one partner makes the other partner financially dependent on them as a means to gain control over them, it is known as economic abuse. Victims are often forbidden from gaining employment and are denied access to anyone or anything that may be a potential source of money.

19.5 Emotional Abuse

While physical, sexual or economic abuse is easier to spot, victims of emotional and psychological abuse often have trouble, admitting even to themselves that they may be victims of DV. Emotional abuse involves undermining a person’s self worth and self esteem, name calling, belittling the person, emotional blackmail etc.

19.6 Psychological Abuse

Psychological abuse is similar to emotional abuse but is more about causing fear by intimidating the victim. Threats of physical harm, threats to hurt children, isolating the victim from friends and family, destruction of property etc constitute as psychological abuse.

If you are a victim of domestic violence and need help, click here

If you are concerned about your safety, click here for more information.

If you are an immigrant woman and need more information, click here.

20. Choose A Reputable Dating Service

20.1 Dating Service Tips

(a) Confidentiality

(b) Database size

(d) Choose a special interest service

(e) Check for contact details

With thousands of online dating sites available, spend some time researching your options to find the best online dating service for your safety, security and success. Carefully consider the following areas of importance:

20.2 Confidentiality

Be sure your personal details will not be visible or passed on to third parties. Read each online dating site's privacy statement and forget any online dating service that does not have a declaration about how your personal information will be handled.

Database Size

Being part of a large member database will greatly increase your chances of meeting that one special person using online dating. For example a dating service with millions of members gives you a better chance of finding a date or a partner than a website with only a few hundred members.

20.3 Online Repute

Thanks to the internet and Google, it is easy to gain a vast amount of information about almost anything. If you are interested in a particular dating service, it might be a good idea to Google it to see what other users may have to say about the services. For example, you may be interested in Chinese dating but would like a little more information before you sign up with any dating service. A quick Google search will often reveal information and reviews about the site that will help you make a decision.

20.4 Special Interest

If you have a special interest in a particular type of partner, such as Asian or Big Beautiful Women find a special interest dating site that will cater to that need. There are dozens of niche specific websites to choose from. For example, if you are interested in dating someone with the same religious beliefs, there are Christian dating and Muslim matrimonial services or if you are interested in interracial dating there is a dating website for that too. Country specific dating websites are popular too while the gay and lesbian communities also have their own dedicated dating services as well.

20.5 Contact Details

An ethical and well reputed company will list its contact details on its website in case customers need to contact them. If a company provides a physical address in addition to its phone numbers, it is always a good sign.

There is no fool proof way to ensure one site is more reliable than another but following some of these tips will definitely be helpful in eliminating some of the dodgy websites.

21. Profile Creation

21.1 Creating A Safe Profile

(a) Use an appropriate username

(b) Choose a good password

(d) Keep details to a minimum

(e) Never divulge information

While many of us may know how to create an interesting online dating profile, some of us may get a little carried away and reveal more information than necessary. An online dating profile should be interesting and inviting however, it should not be a way for potential fraudsters to easily get detailed information about you. When you are creating your online dating profile, remember to keep your safety in mind too.

21.2 Use an Appropriate Username

Everyone wants an eye-catching username, but exactly whose eye are you catching? A flirty username such as "sexykitten69" might only attract the attention of people looking for short term relationships, just as "marryme" will attract those looking for long-term commitment. When choosing a username be aware of any loaded meanings it may have.

Also, it is imperative that you do not divulge your real name (especially your last name) in your profile. Giving away your name on a public forum sets you up as an easy target for scams, ID theft and other online fraud.

21.3 Password Protection

As always, a good password is essential for your online dating account. A scammer should not be able to easily guess your password or they may even hijack your profile. Keep our Password Security Tips in mind and choose a password that is easy for you to remember yet hard for others to guess.

21.4 Online ID Theft

The importance of a good password cannot be stressed enough because a compromised account can not only put you at risk but can place your contacts at risk too. Very often scammers gain access to a person's online dating account or even their Facebook account and take advantage of their friends by pretending to be the account holder. So a scammer could log into your account and get in touch with your friends on Facebook or even someone you've been interacting with on an online dating site and scam them off money. So the scammer (pretending to be you) gets in touch with your contacts and tells them you are stuck in some sort of emergency. Your friends are unlikely to realize it's a scammer and in their attempt to help you, they will have been robbed off their money by a scammer. This sometimes happens with email accounts as well, so keep your details secure and use a strong password on all your accounts.

21.5 Keep Personal Details Personal

An online dating profile is designed for you to attract a potential partner. However, this does not mean you need to reveal your personal details on your profile. Most online dating services will probably disallow it anyway if you try to give away your contact details on your profile. But, you should not reveal other details like where you work or even what gym you go to on your profile. This information has the potential of being used against you

21.6 Giving Away Too Much

In addition to keeping your personal details closely guarded, you should also review your profile for any other information that might reveal too many details. For example, don't discuss your dog on your profile if your email security question is about your dog. Be sensible about the information you reveal on your profile.

Put some thought into your online dating profile because it is the first impression other singles on the site will have of you. However, at all times remember to keep your personal details secure.

22. Dating Service Tips

22.1 Using a Dating Service

(a) Chat safe

(b) Use secure numbers for phone calls

(d) Keep your emotions in check

(e) Beware of stalkers and cyber stalkers

Once you have taken all the necessary safety steps and joined a dating site, finding an online date is a fun and exciting experience. However, once again it is always important to make your safety and security your first priority.

A reputable dating service guarantees you a certain amount of safety and security from scammers and other fraudsters but at the end of the day it all comes down to common sense and the degree of effort you put in into making your online dating experience fun and safe at the same time. Here are some quick tips – click on the links for more details.

22.2 Safe Chat

While you are chatting online, always keep your identity a secret and never divulge any personal information to the person you chat with. For maximum safety, it’s best to use the dating site’s chat and messenger services as you don’t have to reveal your personal messenger details in that case. Read our online chat tips for more details.

22.3 Safe Phone Calls

Similar to chat, remember to always keep your details a secret until you are comfortable enough with your date to reveal more information. It is also a good idea to use disposable numbers to communicate until you have established a greater degree of trust. Read our phone dating tips for more details.

22.4 Married Individuals & Cheaters

In your search for your special someone, you might come across some married individuals who have no qualms about cheating on their partner. Read our section on Married Men & Cheaters to learn how to avoid these people.

22.5 Emotional Safety

Dating is all about forming an emotional bond with someone but you have to be careful not to get too emotionally involved with someone, too quick. Establish some emotional boundaries and maintain some distance till you are sure the person is someone you would like to invest more time in. Your emotional safety should be a priority for you.

22.6 Beware of Stalkers

While online dating is generally a safe world of singles looking to find love, every once in a while one comes across slightly creepy individuals who resort to stalking (online and offline) and threaten victims with harassment. Click here to read more about it.

Stay safe and enjoy your online dating experience!!!!

23. A Quick guide to online chat

23.1 Online Chat Quick Tips

(a) Guard your identity

(b) Don't feel pressured into anything

(d) Look for inconsistencies

(e) Don't fall for false emotions

(f) Never send money

(g) Never send bank or credit card details

(h) Report all inappropriate behavior

Winks, kisses, nudges, emails and instant messages are the first and perhaps most fun communication you'll have with online dating buddies. Sometimes the words will just fizzle out but occasionally things will sizzle; their jokes, stories and attitudes will capture your attention and ultimately your heart. Whether your online communication is formal or flirty it should always be safe. Read on for important information and tips about safe, successful online dating communication.

23.2 Online Dating Secret Agents

It is important to guard your identity and personal details at all times when using online dating services. While you don't have to wear a fake moustache and dark glasses every time you sit down at the computer, you should keep your full name, address, phone number and specific details of your place of work confidential if you have just met online. If you've told an online dating acquaintance that your name is Bob and you live in Example City, why should they need your last name, suburb or street address if you've just met online? They don't. Equally important is keeping your bank and credit card details safe. Never give your financial details to someone you've met through an online dating service and Nener send any money to anyone that you met online.

23.3 Don't Call Me Baby

If someone gives you their personal email address, phone number or snail mail address you are not obliged to use it. You are certainly not obliged to reciprocate. Take a direct approach by saying "Thanks for giving me your details but I'd rather communicate through the online dating service".

23.4 Taboo Topics

Communicating with people from other towns, states and countries will introduce you to an exciting new world but one in which things can easily be lost in translation. It's important to be aware of cultural, religious and political differences and sensitivities. Be cautious when discussing things you've heard about someone else's country or national character; stereotypes often cause offense and even distress.

Politics is basically a no-go zone of online dating conversation and discussing anything of a sexual nature will put you on thin ice. Make sure you consider different attitudes to sexual relations and know where your online dating partner stands before anything kinky leaves your outbox.

Don't feel pressured into topics of discussion that you're not comfortable with. For example, if an online dating acquaintance shares all the gory details of past relationships you are not obliged to do the same. In face to face conversation it is easy to pick up someone's discomfort but online dating communication is devoid of physical and aural clues. Chances are your online dating buddy has no idea that talking about your ex girlfriend makes you uncomfortable, so just tell them by saying, “Thanks for sharing your stories but I'm not comfortable discussing that topic just yet”.

23.5 Build a Pretty Picture

Ask for a series of photos from different times in your online dating partner's life. This will build a better understanding of who they are while ensuring that the photo posted with their profile is actually them. Be highly suspicious of someone who claims to have only one photo or only has photos that look like professional shots. Who doesn't have photos of birthdays, graduations, school classes, parties etc? Scammers don't. If your online dating partner only has modeling photos and glamour shots then they may have downloaded them from the internet. If nothing else, having a range of older photos will give you the chance to laugh at your online dating partner's bad 80s haircut or the goofy smile they had as a kid.

23.6 Getting Their Story Straight

Funny, you thought their uncle was named Bob not Joe. Are you noticing inconsistencies in their stories? Are things not adding up? It's an unfortunate fact of reality that some people use the internet to create new identities, often for unsavory reasons. If your online dating partner is getting themselves stuck in a web of lies be extremely cautious.

23.7 Love at First Link? Unlikely

Be suspicious of online dating acquaintances who profess their love for you after just a few emails or instant messages; love is generally an acquired feeling. Claiming instant, undying love for someone is a ploy often used by scammers who prey on the emotions of online dating users.

23.8 Don't Let Love Rob You Blind

Never send money to someone you've met through an online dating service. A quick internet search of online dating scams will turn up thousands of stories ranging from the loss of a few hundred dollars to the endangerment of lives. A search will also show the multitude of ways in which scammers extract money from innocent, unsuspecting online dating users. Scammers claim to have sick grandmothers, need money to pay household bills, say they're stranded in a foreign country, need to pay for visas or travel expenses to visit you…the list goes on an on. Do not send money, bank or credit card details and report anyone who requests them to the online dating service provider.

24. Report Bad Behavior

Reputable online dating services will have a way for members to report inappropriate, offensive or suspicious behavior. If you encounter any of the following do not hesitate to report the offender:

(a) Offensive behavior such as racism

(b) Unwelcome sexual advances

(d) Fraudulent profile or photo

(e) Finding that an online dating member is underage

(f) Requests for money or material goods

(g) Anything that makes you uncomfortable or suspicious

25. Safe and Successful Phone dating

25.1 Dating Tips for Safe, Successful Phone Calls

(a) Use cell phones or block your call ID

(b) Keep calls interesting, go on a phone date

(d) Make lists of topics, jokes, stories

(e) Make lists of no-go topics

(f) Don’t be pressured

(g) Smile and enjoy yourself!

This is always fun! You’ve been chatting online for a while and now you’re ready to speak to them. What will their voice sound like? What will they say? Enjoy the excitement of this step in your online dating relationship but keep these safe dating tips in mind.

25.2 Online Calls

Using online instant messaging services is the safest, easiest and cheapest way to chat in real time. Investing in a microphone and set of headphones for your computer will cost hardly anything and give you unlimited safe chat time!

Log onto Private Phone to get your very own disposable number. Sign up online and select your private number by state (you can choose any state!) and record a voicemail greeting. When someone calls that number they’ll go directly to that voicemail, thinking they’ve reached your real phone. You will be alerted by an email or text message and can then access their voice message over the phone or internet. Easy!

To return calls make sure the number on your real phone is blocked and avoid using your home phone.

25.3 Start With Cells

If possible begin with calls between cell phones as your home number can be used to find your home address. Of course this will cost a little more but you can’t put a dollar value on safety! Alternatively block the caller ID on your landline.

25.4 Go on a Phone Date

Keep things interesting by using your cells to go on a phone date. Arrange to speak to each other from your favorite café, park, beach etc. This will keep your conversations exciting and interesting while ensuring your safety.

25.5 Is Something Odd?

Be highly suspicious if the other person can only talk at odd or specified hours, talks in hushed tones or cuts conversations short by saying “Sorry, gotta go”. They may not be as single as you think.

25.6 Prepare to Succeed

Are you worried you’ll run out of things to talk about with your online dating partner? Scared about stuffing up the punch lines of your jokes? Grab a pen and paper and make a list of topics to discuss, jokes and anecdotes to share, songs to sing – whatever you want to bring up! Just remember to speak naturally; news reader impersonations aren’t cool for a first chat.

25.7 No Pressure

As in all online and offline communication don’t feel pressured into discussing something you’re not comfortable with. Write another list of any definite no-go topics of conversation and prepare avoidance excuses in case they pop up. For example, if you don’t want to discuss your salary have a written response prepared such as “I’d actually rather not discuss my salary but I can tell you about the best parts of my job if you like”.

25.8 Smile!

Always smile when you answer the phone, your online dating partner will hear it in your voice!!!!

26. Spotting Married Men and Cheaters Online

26.1 Married Men Warning Signs

(a) The man is very secretive about his life

(b) His online times follow a pattern

(d) He talks in hushed tones when you call him unexpectedly

It's not that women don't do it; it's just that the men do it much more. According to a MSNBC survey, 30% of the men using an online dating service are married. So how do you spot a cheater online? Well…there really is no fool proof method and sadly catching a liar online can be harder than catching the married guy hitting on you at the bar. However, there are some signs that might help you spot a married man online.

26.2 No Photo

It's common sense. A married man will not put up his photo online obviously because he does not want to be recognized. Of course they can always put up fake photos but they usually do not have a photo at all. In fact, as a general rule, it is best to be suspicious of profiles without photos. If you start interacting with someone who doesn't have a photo online, request them to add a photo and let them know you prefer not to communicate with them unless they put up a photo. If they have nothing to hide, adding a profile photo should not be a problem at all.

26.3 Very Secretive

A married man is usually very cagey and does not like to reveal too many details about himself online. For example, he may refuse to divulge his last name and for many people this is often a dead giveaway that the guy is married. While it is normal for people to hold back initially, if the guy has something to hide, he will usually not reveal details about where he lives, what he does for a living, his family, his upbringing etc. Obviously they don't want you to have too much information so you can't look them up and find out their marital status.

26.4 Online Patterns

Most married men have a certain pattern they follow and if you watch closely enough you will notice that they are always online only at certain times or if they call you, they will only do so at certain times. This is obviously because they don't want their partners to know they are talking to an online date. Very often, married men are online late at night while their wives are asleep. If they are online at odd hours, you should ask them why.

26.5 Irregular & Erratic Responses

A single man will not have any restrictions on communicating with you however a married man will probably need to be more careful and therefore his responses to your emails, text messages etc may be irregular and erratic. He is probably juggling a family life, work and other personal commitments along with his online life and has to schedule chatting with you based on the other not-so-secret parts of his life. His responses may be erratic because he tries to fit in a quick email amidst the other busy aspects of his day or as mentioned above, he might be very regular and follow a strict pattern so keep an eye out.

26.6 Phone Habits

In addition to the above signs to look out for, if you chat with the guy on the phone there are some other phone habits that you might want to pay close attention to. Does his phone go to voicemail every time you call him? This is probably so he can call you back when it suits him. If he does answer, does he talk in hushed tones or hang up abruptly? Almost a dead giveaway is when he refuses to share his phone number with you even though he has yours and you have known each other for some time. Watch out for these signs.

26.7 Avoid Free Dating Sites

Nothing against free dating sites, but it's often found that married men frequent free dating sites to meet new women. This is obviously because they do not want to pay for a site and have it show up on their bank or credit card statement. Plus a married man is seldom looking for a long term relationship and they believe a casual fling is easier to find on a free dating site. If you are using one, be doubly careful.

One or two of these reasons alone cannot prove that you're chatting with a cheater. However, if they test positive for four or more of these signs, he could very well be a married man simply looking for a way to cheat.